THE OFFICIAL ROLE PLAYING THREAD

[The Shadow]

*Catward assumes Russian garb and decides to sneak into THE SHERIFF's home and destroy him, now tired of THE LAW.*

[DEATH]

*However, Tommy Boy, the quiet citizen of The Thread who has been unmentioned since the 23rd post, uses the element of surprise to catch Catward in the act, and turns him in to TLOPAOT authorities, where he is then sent back to prison. As a result of the attempted escape, all former PTSNB members are moved to the maximum security cells. THE SHERIFF is resurrected by Tommy Boy, who is eager to maintain THE LAW and joins the police department, becoming alternately known as THE DEPUTY*

*THE MONKEY breaks into The Thread and attempts to cause mayhem, though is unable to because of his strange familiarity with everyone in The Thread, who all immediately recognize him and say:*
"Hey, look! It's *honk*!!"

[McGee]

*Default II walks in and out*

[The Shadow]

*Bjorg tosses a war hammer at the scalpless and inexplicably resurrected Default II. Sheldonette decides, on this momentous occasion, to quote Richard Wheeler: "I have a dream...give me a sausage and some toothpicks and we can build the Eiffel Tower!" He then proceeds to collect sausages and toothpicks from all donators and invites DEATH to assist him in this venture, telling Dave Mustaine that he will be allowed to play the first concert atop the new Tower.*

[The Shadow]

*Shemorgisbjorg returns to sue Sheldonette on the grounds that there is already an Eiffel Tower and he has not requested permission from Gustav Eiffel to create a replica. Trailing behind Shemorgisbjorg are several miniature Sheldonettes. Shemorgisbjorg explains: "Well, I got really lonely, so I visited an INOB house of ill repute, where you just slap them ladies. As a result, I had about a dozen of these things...with my law skills, I was able to maintain custody of them; they might come in handy someday. I call them the Brothel Sprouts." Bjorg's nurturing instincts take over and he requests a Brothel Sprout from Shemorgisbjorg, who agrees as long as Bjorg temporarily (10 posts) retires his war hammer, and whips up a fresh batch of those famous lettuce donuts. Bjorg acquiesces and names his Brothel Sprout Santa's Little Helper.*

[DEATH]

*THE SHERIFF and THE DEPUTY (neither of which have been shot, I might mention) capture the newly resurrected Default II along with THE MONKEY. They then gather an angry mob and a large stake upon which to burn one of the two. However, they only have one stake and are unable to determine who they want to burn. In an attempt to get a consensus decision from the mob, THE SHERIFF leads the mob in chanting:*

"TWO......FOUR......SIX.......EIGHT.........WHO SHALL WE INCINERATE?"

[The Shadow]

*Shemorgisbjorg agrees to represent Default II, seeking to re-enter the good graces of The Shadow by joining Squad Shadow. He claims that Default II cannot be viewed as a criminal, due to her status as JUNIOR LAW CADET and role as an upstanding citizen. Moreover, he accuses THE SHERIFF of gender-discrimination for allowing Tommy Boy, who possesses no law-enforcement training, to become THE DEPUTY rather than Default II.*
(now let's see if Geocities wants to be straight...)
*Question Mark Man and Colonel Shadow attempt to escape prison...Colonel Shadow waits near the cell door with a newly acquired M14.*

[The Shadow]

.........................................................
*Question Mark Man begins singing and dancing in an effort to lure the guards into Colonel Shadow's line of fire.*

[DEATH]

*A T-800 terminator sent by Skynet who was bribed by an unknown source and sent into "Thur Ye Beeee" suddenly warps into The Thread, unarmed and clothed in lawnmower's former clothes. Finding an old PTB Van used by the storming Megadeth fans in the First Thread War, he punches out the driver's side window and promptly hot-wires the vehicle and drives off.*

[DEATH]

*Chaos breaks loose in the thread when THE MONKEY, in an attempt to free himself, steals some UNSTONE and UNSTONES the local 50 foot statue of Trogdor, The Burninator. Trogdor goes to work burninating the countryside.*

meanwhile....

*The T-800 pulls up to the weapons store/cache in his van and goes inside, killing the owner and robbing the store of all it's weapons. He drives off to acquire targets to terminate....*

[The Shadow]

*Meanwhile, back in The DARK PALACE, sales of FELLOWSHIP BURGERS reach an unbelievable high, dwarfing those of the Big Mac and putting Ron out of business...*
--------------------------------------------
*Trogdor the Burninator, during his rampage, sets the Thread's new STAKE on fire. Dr. Editorrr, high on crack, bursts out of the nearby BUSHES to shove THE MONKEY into the flames. Unfortunately, THE MONKEY climbs safely to the top of THE STAKE. Default II settles for the burned corpses of THE SHERIFF and THE DEPUTY instead, pitching them into the flames and escaping into THE BUSHES. Dr. Editorrr, still high, wanders onto a soccer field and declares...*
"Here's what I think of THIS sport!"
--------------------------------------------

[GAH(s)]

*GAH(s), angered at the lack of posts making reference to it (as well as the lack of the war having actually ended), and further frustrated by the fact that he has no idea what the itself is going on, decides to randomly insert a post without regard to any relevant link to previous posts.

He first raises up Rian deMiers, a crack special operative who specializes in assassinations. His "modus operandum" is to make his victims unknowingly eat themselves to death, preferably with laxative-laced legumes that "help them go nicely." deMiers immediately gets to work on Default II and hits her with a piece of THE AGENDA from HMeister's Medieval Europe class. He then calls upon the Ostrogoths and the Visigoths, who get really mad and castrate the MONKEY...no more for you, truncated little buddy! He then visits BASIC and offers General Grimmace a hemorrhoid suppository, which actually turns out to be a grenade, and then leaves for work. deMiers then trips and falls into a bottomless pit where, ironically, he dies of star-VA-tioooooon.

Meanwhile, the wrath that has been sleepin in the INoB arises at long last. Commandeering a series of NASA shuttles they launch their own perfect race into outer space and start a colony on Mars, which they rechristen the Independent Planet of Bob (IPoB). Of course, they are now fully equipped with their own Delta 88hundred Spacecruiser 6678900 Starfighter Battleship Cruisers, which they take on a rampage and destroy planet Earth in a salvo of unchecked fury. They then decide to turn their powers towards the home of GAH(s) and MUP(s) but are forced to seek another conquest when they can't find where the Hell is. They then turn their sights towards the most isolated place in the MULTIVERSE: Peruvia, Nebraskumum.*

[The Shadow]

*Sheldonette and Bjorg decide to save THE THREAD; as Bjorg goes off in search of Trogdor the Burninator, Sheldonette attempts to purchase PV2 Grimmace's AA system for use against the Delta 88hundred Spacecruiser 6678900 Starfighter Battleship Cruisers. Bjorg stops on the trail towards Trogdor's lair, realizing that he doesn't get his war hammer until next post.*
"I'm...hesitant."

[DEATH]

*The Thread suddenly erupts with activity after relative monarchial nothingness ("where's your crown?")*

*The KDT goes to work on secretly conquering the world through idealogical influence. Firstly, they resurrect THE SHERIFF and THE DEPUTY, and invite both, along with FDR, to THE BASE. They then use Marty Friedman and David Ellefson to play Limp Bizkit songs repeatedly until THE SHERIFF, THE DEPUTY, and FDR are all convinced that the KDT represents the working man and are an answer to class warfare. They send the brainwashed trio back to the PTB side of The Thread. Upon their arrival, the trio begins actively protesting the non-government that exists within the PTB, and suggests implementation of the KDT*

*THE MONKEY, who has assumed the role previously belonging to QUESTION MARK MAN (that is to be senseless mutilated), is TERMINATED by the T-800.*

*Anger, whilst inside prison with QMM, use some UNSTONE to UNSTONE the long-lost Atlas. They then command Atlas to resurrect the original members of Metallica, which he does. Unfortunately, something goes horribly wrong and Atlas resurrects them in the sky, and the 3 murdered member fall 50,000 feet to their death*

*DEATH calls for a PTB meeting to address the newly aggressive threat of the IPoB*

*Vic slaps ActsOfStupidity in the FACE for lack of posting*

[The Shadow]

*Santa's Little Helper eats the resultant child. Bjorg, having now recovered his war hammer, goes off in search of Trogdor, while Shemorgisbjorg, being the lawsuit-obsessed character that he is, accompanies him, intending to sue Trogdor for use of the surname "The Burninator," as he has not burninated anything recently, and Shemorgisbjorg intends to grant the name to Default II (slayer of inane threads) as a matrimonial gift, having now become the chief secretary of THE CULT.*
*Meanwhile, Sheldonette postpones purchase of Pvt. Grimmace's famed AA systems to convene with DEATH, The Shadow, and The Chronicler at the PTB meeting. Dr. Editorrr, meanwhile, gets in a fight with Tinkerbell after demanding too much pixie dust. Ripping off the fairy/assassin's wings, he leaps from the edge of THE CLIFF (which miraculously appears out of The Online Teacher's Butt-Crack) and, flapping his arms energetically while gripping Tinkerbell's wings, plummets into THE SEA.*