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Post by The Shadow on Sept 16, 2004 11:52:33 GMT -5
*Goes to class.*
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Post by The Shadow on Oct 5, 2004 12:45:28 GMT -5
*Sheldonette hires Mr. T to deal with the T-800...as part of this mercenary's evaluation, he is asked to throw DEATH helluva far as punishment for BALEETING Default II's response to the soccer photo.*
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Post by ActsOfStupidity on Oct 12, 2004 11:36:40 GMT -5
*Enter AGENT MONTAGE*
*AGENT MONTAGE throws Mr. T helluva far because he has become the biggest black guy on the thread*
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Post by The Shadow on Oct 14, 2004 9:08:00 GMT -5
LOL!
*Dr. Editorrr's Colombian supplier, AGENT GAGREEL, enters thread, intending to use his cocaine empire against Tinkerbell's mysterious "pixie dust" cartel. Offers DEATH a 10-gallon Hardee's bucket of CRACK.*
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Post by DEATH on Oct 15, 2004 0:35:32 GMT -5
*DEATH proceeds to render Default II helluva DEAD, noting that since he both started the RPG thread (and the existance of The Thread), that he dictates (as always) what the rules are, and that all future posts that are simply non-actioning replys, remarks or whatever else that is not furthering the story will be also be thrown HELLUVA FAR, as they totally disrupt the action-flow-thingy, of the RPG thread. *
*DEATH forces Default II into THE CATAPULT, and turns the launch velocity dial to "2.7 BILLION TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT!!", the approximate speed (as qouted by Donkey) required to launch some poor soul 25 billion times around the world.....in one second. Before pulling the "Launch" lever, DEATH rapidly comments:*
"Yyyyou're the weakest link goodbye!"
*Default II protests:*
"Hey! Wait a second! Aaaa......"
*Her voice fading quickly into the distance, before she is once again incinerated (and also totally disintegrated), this time by the immense air resistance friction generated by traveling at roughly Mach 275,000 through the air*
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Post by DEATH on Oct 15, 2004 1:12:08 GMT -5
*in response to being harrassed at BASIC by his superiors, Robert Trujillo of Metallica begs the Mythical ancient Sumerian gods to re-enact the Sumerian version of the story of Noah, a wish which they specially grant with floods of vomit in praise of St. Anger, and The Thread is totally flooded and destroyed because "the mortals were making too much noise" as the Sumerian story goes. Everyone drowns in the terrible vomit flood, save for the IPoB because of their non-earthly status, and GAH(s), MUP(s), and the T-800, because none are mortal.*
!#! NOTE !#! = Just like with the first destruction of The Thread, this is merely a clean up. Resurrect whatever characters you want. Also, as a cleaner reference point, the new "The Thread" has been set to Peru, Nebraska. All characters will re-appear inside of a phone booth at the Casey's gas station in Peru. = !#! NOTE !#!
*DEATH resurrects himself, and find himself in an abondoned Peru, Nebraska, at Casey's. After stealing several donuts and eating them, he walks back out to the gas pumps. There he meets the T-800, which begins to look predatorily at him, and DEATH flees to the campus of PSC and hides in the Library*
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Post by The Shadow on Oct 15, 2004 14:37:39 GMT -5
*Sheldonette and his core entourage (Dr. Editorrr, Bjorg, Shemorgisbjorg, and AGENT GAGREEL [okay, so he's more of a Dr. Editorrr associate, but we can't really have "Dr. Editorrr and his entourage" with just two people]) regenerate simultaneously in the phone booth, which, being an environment intended for one person and now containing five, promptly ASPLODES, sending entourage members helluva far in all directions, with the exception of Dr. Editorrr, thrown helluva near downwards into the asphalt, and Bjorg, thrown helluva medium. Bjorg is the luckier of the two, managing to land directly on the patio of DEATH's old house, which is, of course, merely a short distance from Casey's, while Dr. Editorrr is merely reduced to a paper-thin version of his former self. Bjorg soon covers the distance between DEATH's house and the gas station in an energetically paced prance and returns to Casey's, intending to fix the phone booth so other Flood survivors can be resurrected despite Sheldonette's selfishness in bringing all entourage members along. Meanwhile, Dr. Editorrr removes himself from the asphalt, direct application of which to his face has removed his drug-induced high, and remarks, "Well, THAT was an extremely unpleasant nirvana!"*
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Post by The Shadow on Oct 22, 2004 9:25:11 GMT -5
*The spirit of The Chronicler, angered at Sheldonette's negligence in leaving him un-resurrected, goes on a killing spree in the spirit world. He then realizes that all inhabitants of the spirit world are already dead, and decides instead do the requisite opposite, thus going on a conception spree.*  *The slapping is merciless.* |
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McGee
Knight of the Inner Temple of Postville 
Knight of the Inner Temple of Postville
Wonder what this does?
Posts: 245
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Post by McGee on Oct 24, 2004 17:20:19 GMT -5
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Post by The Shadow on Oct 25, 2004 9:06:31 GMT -5
*Noting that Default II's current facial expression must be that of her spirit in the RPG Thread (since, of course, it would otherwise have been posted in the Sideline Thread), Chronicler assumes an identical expression as a means of heralding his association with the now-absolved SS leader.*
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Post by DEATH on Oct 25, 2004 11:12:29 GMT -5
*Vic, Anger, and QUESTION MARK MAN all self-resurrect, and Vic and Anger suddenly appear in what's left of the phone booth. Apparently, Vic adjusted the properties of QUESTION MARK MAN's resurrection, and QMM is resurrected inside of the phone book instead, which ASPLODES, leaving a dazed and confused QMM laying on the pavement covered in phone book confetti. QMM decides for an unknown reason to resurrect the faculty at PSC. Unfortunately, Vic goes BESERK and begins a Megadeth-inspired killing spree, slaughtering all PSC faculty. He, of course, narrates the sadistic massacre:*
"Bodies convulse in agony and pain!
I mangle their face till no features remain!
A blade for the butchering, I cut them to shreds!
First take out the organs then cut off the head!"
*A blood-stained Vic returns to the Casey's to wash himself off with some ethanol-based 91 octane gasoline. Anger, annoyed at Vic's repitition of Megadeth lyrics, slaps him in the face. SOMEHOW, an evil baby skeleton results, begging the question of how can skeletons have childern. The evil child is dubbed "Vic Jr." The rabid Vic Jr. vicously attacks QUESTION MARK MAN, causing QMM to douse the young skeleton in gasoline and set him afire. Unfortunately, this is a poor strategy, and Vic Jr. again attacks and leaps onto QMM, causing him to catch on fire as well. The valiant hero burns (literally) with anger, while Anger interjects into the thought processes of QMM to inform him that while he is madly in anger with him, he does NOT burn!*
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Post by ActsOfStupidity on Oct 27, 2004 16:12:40 GMT -5
*FDR respawns in the north corridor of the fourth donjon to spite the Casey's in Peru*
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Post by The Shadow on Nov 4, 2004 11:28:38 GMT -5
*In response, The Shadow uses his mystical powers to make the fourth donjon itself respawn in the telephone booth of Casey's. Bjorg stands by with repair tools in hand, intending to repair the booth one more time as soon as FDR and the fourth donjon arrive. Unfortunately, the donjon is so huge that its expanding appearance smacks into Bjorg, throwing him, of course, helluva far, and landing him at PSC. After recovering from the rough entry, he regards the carnage caused by Vic and faints.*
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Post by The Shadow on Dec 2, 2004 9:45:49 GMT -5
*Soon, the Casey's of Peru lands, somewhere around Decker's. Vic, Vic Jr., QMM, Anger, and The Shadow arrive soon thereafter. After contemplating whether or not he is qualified to quote lyrics from The Craving, Dave Mustaine's recordings outside of Megadeth in 1996, Vic decides to leave this responsibility to child Vic Jr., who promptly charges into Casey's in search of food, determined to gorge himself until he somehow becomes a FAT skeleton. During this search, he freely quotes "Nothing is Something."*
"Dig in the trash, there's nothing to eat...sores on my tongue, sores on my feet...open the fridge, there's only pickles and beer...breakfast of champions, only thing served in here!"
*Casey's pizza delivery personnel, offended at this disrespect for their culinary services, make the ravenous skeleton an extra-special-nice pizza, the crust of which is composed primarily of British PE4...or, more accurately, PA4, the PA standing for Plastic ASPLOSIVE. Upon consuming the crust, Vic Jr. detonates into many tiny bone fragments. The Shadow comforts his grieving comrade Vic by saying, "See, I never eat the crust myself. Heck, I don't even eat Casey's pizza."*
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Post by DEATH on Dec 3, 2004 13:56:54 GMT -5
*After finding the slaghtered remains of PSC faculty, DEATH emerges from the library. Pressing the "DRIVE TO MY LOCATION FROM WHEREVER YOU ARE" button on his remote keyless entry remote for his Camaro, it drives itself to right outside of the Library, where he commandeers it. To try to counter-act all the frustration with the resurrections, he hosts a second much belated birthday party/basketball tourny at his former house and invites all to attend. Unfortunately, something bad is surely about to happen when all the parties converge on 1916 8th street.......*
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