Donkey
Cleric of the Inner Temple of Postville 
Who's your favorite pack animal? That's right ME!
Posts: 164
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Post by Donkey on Jun 8, 2004 0:33:31 GMT -5
[glow=green,2,300]Donkey, still typing in green, attempts to destroy everyone not in Keenan's kkk.[/glow]
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Post by The Shadow on Jun 25, 2004 13:16:10 GMT -5
*As Colonel Shadow slaps Donkey for not enclosing his actions within asterisks, Sheldonette, Dr. Editorrr, and Bjorg warp in with the hog-tied Default II and lash her to THE STAKE. They then prepare to "SET THE STAKE AFIRE!!!"*
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Post by The Shadow on Jun 25, 2004 13:19:30 GMT -5
*Neville Chamberlain then notes that the Thread War has ended, and offers to moderate the PTB/PTSNB Treaty of Brest-Litovsk.*
ADMINISTRATOR (ADMINISTERTER): The Thread will not close, due to the PM meditations of DEATH and The Shadow. As soon as I find time, I'll try putting in a good ole State of the Thread thingie. POST.
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Post by The Shadow on Jun 25, 2004 13:27:38 GMT -5
*The Chronicler returns from his emissarial journey to the SS Thread and recruits famed American Revolution spy Nathan Hale into the PTB and S3 alliance.*
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Post by ActsOfStupidity on Jun 28, 2004 16:04:00 GMT -5
NEW WORLD OMLETTES MUST BE REPRESENTED
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Post by DEATH on Jun 29, 2004 0:55:41 GMT -5
*DEATH resurrects FDR to deal with the post-war happenings. FDR demands a yes or no answer from all parties involved in the RPG Thread about joining the TLOPAOT (The League Of Powers And Other Thingys), and about their support for an official end to the war, and a unilateral invasion of PTSNB territory to remove those clinging to the old regime. FDR demands immediate answers from all parties*
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Post by ActsOfStupidity on Jul 1, 2004 14:43:42 GMT -5
THE NWO CHOOSES 'OR'
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Post by The Shadow on Jul 8, 2004 21:37:45 GMT -5
*The Shadow and his retinue pause in their execution of the second Default to send word that they will first throw a party, and from said party collect a vote that will most likely read "YES." They then set light to THE STAKE, and Default II is gruesomely consumed in the resultant flames, to the delight of all present. Meanwhile, Colonel Shadow, hearing of the TLOPAOT's intentions, discards his REGIME and resurrects QMM and Anger.*
"Spanky, get me a new REGIME...the old one is FIRED!"
*Spanky, Catward's new child by Anger, obeys immediately...he's shaped something like an anvil on stilts with buck teeth and bunny ears.*
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Post by GAH(s) on Jul 22, 2004 15:56:24 GMT -5
*GAH(s) comes into the anemic remnants of what was once the greatest (and only) Thread War of all time and disgustedly casts a glance at the meager and mangy assortment of former warriors. The glance bounces off of the Default II-stained STAKE and accidently hits Donkey, causing him to castrate himself with the knife he was holding while committing a racial hate crime against a non-kkk member.
*awkward pause*
Cliff Burton comes out of nowhere, as the newly resurrected leader of the Ninja Wombats and proceeds to off people at an alarming rate, having finally found a use for F**d Windstar minivans: smaller projectiles for his tour bus launcher! He immediately wipes out James Hetfield for leaving him stranded because of "black ice" (Gross, yuck, c'mon Cletus, it's that new thing, *pop*!) and charges towards a terrified Kirk Hammett, whose lasts words are, "But Cliff, we heard everyone screaming except for Y----Aaaagh!" Cliff then impales Jason Newstead on THE STAKE for usurping his place and does a small victory dance. Unfortunately a tour bus launcher misfires with a Chevy Astro Projectile Obliterator (CAPO) which lands, like a ROCK, on the injured guitarist, killing him on the second bounce. Dave Mustaine then wanders in and starts laughing, until Savatage member Jon Oliva wanders in and says, "I haven't forgiven you yet for throwing a phone at my head on tour. Prepare to be chokeslammed!" Mustaine replies with a bold, "My icy fingers claw your back, here I come agaaaaain!" But he is cut short by a chokeslam from Oliva who counters with "And know I will impale you like a knife, leave you twisting, turning, day after day after day of a miserable life with...ME!" This having been said, he marries Dave Mustaine to Keenan's alter-ego "me," a fate that is surely worth then both DEATH and DETH combined.*
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Post by DEATH on Jul 23, 2004 0:58:41 GMT -5
*FDR considers negotiations done and states that a common peace has been reached. He then organizes an invasion to capture and bring to trial the remaining PTSNB members*
meanwhile....
*Dave Mustaine attempts to save himself, trying to argue that only a failed legal system would provide legal marriage between himself and "me". He explains:*
"Justice means nothing today, now that the jury is for sale! Guilty or not, the verdict is a lot, YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL!!!! THE SYSTEM HAS FAILED!!!"
*me counters the charges with a lawsuit claiming slander, libel, and defamation for the lyrics in "Sweating Bullets". He then states that Dave's obsession with "me" in that song is his obvious statement of affection. Dave counters that the music video clearly explains that me's argument is fallacy, as in the video, Mustaine fights with several other Mustaines, not me's, and furthermore that since the other bandmembers of the era fight with clones of themselves in the video, that the lyrics are hypothetical and can relate to all. He notices me attempting to get close and comments:*
"And now I feel the nearness of your breath, and now I INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR DEATH!!!"
*DEATH attempts to maintain the peace by lassoing the enraged Mustaine with a rope and quickly pulling him away. DEATH then attempts to charge Dave money for the act, explaining that since he just kept the peace, he should be able to sell it, though nobody currently appears to be buying. Dave refuses payment with money, but instead hands DEATH a copy of the soon to be released new Megadeth album "The System Has Failed" (not knowing that DEATH has already pirated 3 songs off of it, to sample it). DEATH gladly accepts and begins a dead sprint to the nearest CD player. Dave notices the METAL THRONE being occupied by the only remaining member of Metallica, Lars. He vows to "Kill The King", and remarks ruefully:*
"Some Kind of FAGGOT"
*and for the second time (and no obvious reason) answers a question from a now infamous 1983 interview*
"What do I think about glam? Glam = Gay L. A. Metal"
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McGee
Knight of the Inner Temple of Postville
Knight of the Inner Temple of Postville
Wonder what this does?
Posts: 245
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Post by McGee on Jul 26, 2004 15:56:05 GMT -5
::)just wondering around
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Post by The Shadow on Jul 27, 2004 8:17:20 GMT -5
*The Shadow returns to THE DARK PALACE to enforce heavy taxes on his people, and places the uprooted STAKE atop the highest parapet of his fortress, the impaled body of Jason Newsted serving as a grim reminder to WORK WORK WORK. The Chronicler swipes the scorched scalp of Default II and wears it on a chain around his neck, pleased with his work. Sheldonette (having miraculously and inexplicably escaped from the chains of imprisonment and the embrace of Catward) and Bjorg sit down and try to think of what they will do now that the war is over. Dr. Editorrr, on the other hand, is depressed by the lack of activity and turns to narcotics after releasing Madam Zap Zap.*
*Meanwhile, Tinkerbell, noticing the end of the war, decides his mission orders to be outdated, and becomes one of the chief pixies of THE THREAD, bestowing happiness, love, and questionable "pixie dust" to all he sees. Freud and Bob, on the other hand, decide to go through with their mission solely for entertainment's sake, and approach THE DARK PALACE.*
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Post by DEATH on Jul 27, 2004 22:35:28 GMT -5
*A recon plane flying over BASIC where General (now Private) Grimmace is currently at shows Private Grimmace attempting to count to 746 on his fingers*
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Post by The Shadow on Jul 29, 2004 9:32:22 GMT -5
LOL!
*THE SHERIFF shoots Default II for unlicensed thought processes.*
"No wondering around for you, you mind-tramp!"
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Post by DEATH on Jul 29, 2004 13:35:51 GMT -5
....at BASIC
*Private Grimmace is unable to successfully count to 746 on his fingers, prompting a nearby Superior to inquire "What's the matter private?!! Can't count to 746 ON YOUR FINGERS?!!"*
...meanwhile, around the THE THREAD
*Robert Trujillo is enraged at not being mentioned as a member of Metallica, and is abducted by a resurrected Vic and sent to BASIC, where he is commanded to count to -0 on his fingers, representing the number of good songs on St. Anger. Trujillo is perplexed by the command, and is severely reprimanded for failing to count to -0 on his fingers.*
....meanwhile
*FDR notes the former-PTSNB regime failing to surrender and leads on wheelchair an invasion of joint TLOPAOT forces, and the REGIME formerly known as the PTSNB is destroyed. *
*Colonel Shadow is sentenced to 25 posts in inter-thread prison, where he begins work on Mein Bazooka, an anti-non-PTSNB book calling all remaining citizens within the former PTSNB regime to rise up against all members of the TLOPAOT as revenge for the harsh post-war dealings with the PTSNB. Catward, Spanky, QMM and Anger are also senteced to 25 posts each within inter-thread prison. They begin a slapping match, hopeful of single handed raising a mutant army to start another war and conquer all nations of the TLOPAOT upon their release from prison. The Thread celebrates "Peace in our time".*
...meanwhile
*Dave Mustaine attempts to recruit Rob McGovney and Cliff Burton to form the Anti-Metallica Club, but is distracted when Chris Poland breaks into The Thread and steals Mustaine's guitar equipment and sells it for cocaine.
Cliff Burton attempts to recruit the 9 former members of Megadeth and decides to form an Anti-Dave Mustaine club, but is distracted when Nick Menza announces he has rejoined Megadeth for the new album and that Gars Samuelson cannot be recruited because he's been dead since 1999. The 7 other former members instead form an aggressive thrash metal faction, calling themselves the Dave Mustaine Is A Fag And We Will Destroy Him Fellowship, or the DMIAFAWWDHF for short. Cliff decides not to join the faction, and so Marty Friedman decides that the new name for the faction will be the KDT, standing for Kill Dave Today. The group vows to ally with the former members of the PTSNB upon their release from prison. They begin to rebuild THE BASE hoping to for it to be fully functional 24 posts from now, when PTSNB members are released. Effigies of Dave Mustaine and Vic Rattlehead are mutilated and burned continually within THE BASE.*
*The KDT sends Al Pitrelli and Chris Poland into the former REGIME of the PTSNB, where they broadcast "Way Cool Jr." by RATT to an unsuspecting public, and use Chris Poland's cocaine to convince them to draft a fascist constition giving the KDT unlimited power, and making THE BASE the capital of the REGIME. The KDT begins rebuilding military forces within the REGIME. The rest of the peace-loving The Thread sits peacefully, unknowing of the conflict that awaits them a couple dozen posts from now.*
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