Post by The Shadow on May 25, 2004 9:19:37 GMT -5
Thomas, Donkey, Keenan, and Brett (and perhaps Jeni, not sure if you heard us or were even in the same van) may remember the book Non Campus Mentis from last CiY; it had a bunch of really screwed-up history essays all pieced together to provide the least informative history of the world ever written. Unfortunately, I was ROBBIFIED of that book shortly before leaving Ft. Collins. I have recently repurchased it, however, and here, I will provide the excerpt I remember to be the general favorite among all involved:
Zorroastrologism was founded by Zorro. This was a duelist religion. The three gods were "Good," "Bad," and "Indifferent." These beliefs later resurfaced among the Manatees.
The history of the Jewish people begins with Abraham, Issac, and their twelve children. Judyism was the first monolithic religion. It had one big God named "Yahoo." Old Testament profits include Moses, Amy, and Confucius, who believed in Fidel Piety. (One of the only reasons Confucius was born was because of a Chinese tradition.) Moses was told by Jesus Christ to lead the people out of Egypt into the Sahaira Desert. The Book of Exodus describes this trip and the amazing things that happened on it, including the Ten Commandments, various special effects, and the building of the Suez Canal. Forty centuries later they arrived in Canada. This was the promise land of milk and chocolate. Noah's ark came to its end near Mt. Arafat. David was a fictional character in the Bible who fought with Gilgamesh while wearing a sling. He pleased the people and saved them from attacks by the Philipines.
Christianity was just another mystery cult until Jesus was born. The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption.
Zorroastrologism was founded by Zorro. This was a duelist religion. The three gods were "Good," "Bad," and "Indifferent." These beliefs later resurfaced among the Manatees.
The history of the Jewish people begins with Abraham, Issac, and their twelve children. Judyism was the first monolithic religion. It had one big God named "Yahoo." Old Testament profits include Moses, Amy, and Confucius, who believed in Fidel Piety. (One of the only reasons Confucius was born was because of a Chinese tradition.) Moses was told by Jesus Christ to lead the people out of Egypt into the Sahaira Desert. The Book of Exodus describes this trip and the amazing things that happened on it, including the Ten Commandments, various special effects, and the building of the Suez Canal. Forty centuries later they arrived in Canada. This was the promise land of milk and chocolate. Noah's ark came to its end near Mt. Arafat. David was a fictional character in the Bible who fought with Gilgamesh while wearing a sling. He pleased the people and saved them from attacks by the Philipines.
Christianity was just another mystery cult until Jesus was born. The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption.
