THE OFFICIAL RPG "SIDELINE" THREAD

[DEATH]

Well, to make things a little easier to grasp or something (), I've created the RPG Sideline. If you find certain parts of the thread HILARIOUS or RETARDED, you may qoute and discuss them in here. Also, if you're totally clueless as to how the RPG Thread functions, or what in the world in going on in there at the moment, just ask, and I (or another RPGer) will give you the best explanation we can conjure up.

[The Shadow]

At this moment, I will award this thread its first response with a post depicting my appreciation for the simplicity of the thread following the recent FLOOD OF VOMIT:

THAT IS AWEXOME AND A HALF.

[DEATH]

My personal list of the funniest points in the RPG thread. Feel free to add suggestions.


From Thomas:
*ENTERS Franklin Roosevelt on his wheelchair*

*FDR comes over to Sheldonette and affectionately strokes her shoe, causing the body of General Grimmace to twitch with uncontrolable jealousy.*

*Bjorg freaks out and whips out his war hammer and crushes FDR's useless legs.*

*FDR is then struck by all the plagues of Egypt at the same time, including that whole "death-of-the-first-born" thing and his son falls from the sky,landing on the body of General Grimmace and stopping the annoying twitching, and then FDR's blood is turned into water by a strange "Anti-plague" and dies suddenly*

*ENTERS Destruction,Tommy Boy,and the spirit of ActsOfStupidity*

*Destruction decides to masticate FDR's corpse while Tommy Boy finds the Katsup (For those stupid Commies) and ActsOfStupidity kill's FDR's soul in the "Spirit Realm"*

*General Grimmace's body suddenly stands up and says "Mein Feurer, I can WALK!!!" *

From Hudson:
*After repairing the rather large gaping hole in its navel (produced when Thanatos exited Hades), GAH(s) sets itself on fire, and then decides to feed all of the present party morsels of delectibly burnt Hade-ness. Grimmace, horrified at the thought of what such an ordeal should feel like, had he not been deprived of his skin, decides to lock himself in a cage with Daisy the wunderdog, where he is once again fired from the world of the living by a rabid and frenzied attack from the carnivorous canine. DEATH of course laughs over having claimed another victim, and eats his own lower mandible, and Great Aunt Hades excrementally expulses grimmace, not wanting to create more damage to an already tender bellybutton. Sheldonette, meanwhile has finished the final touches on the floral print skin which Bjorg had commenced for the refinishing of General Grimmace, and then decides to provide an heir for Bjorg by mitosis. This offspring is dubbed ShemorgisBjorg and goes on to start the International Bobian Society for the Indepenent Status of Red Hats, which eventually proves to be the end of him.*

From Sheldon:

*Grimmace and ShemorgisBjorg demand approximately 25 billion sympathetic facial expressions from each participant, in reparations.*

*Sheldonette and DEATH then decide to lead everybody in a rousing 25 billion repetitions of "C'mon, Cletus!".*

From Keenan:

*he remembers what horrible things took place the last time he tried to shingle an elephant (the moon got swallowed by a pig, the beast (your car GAH) was suddenly stricken with no-battery-ness because some weezels from the hood stole the battery for their own non-evil turned evil purposes, he married kelsay jones, his home computer blew up (leaving millions without sunlight for decades), a pair of trousers named jangliadeshmavilleness killed 400,000,000 squirrel turds babies' frogs, and ... wait. i didn't marry kelsay... and if i did, it certainly wouldn't be a bad thing. well... btw, she is much hotter than before DEATH... ok, that was dumb. so those were the bad things that happened the last time G. G. tried shingling an elephant. but i didn't go into detail about the after effects of the moon being swallowed by a pig. well ,the tides went bazako and i need to remember the sheena quotes for the dumb ones, and the ocean rose 4 milli-meters a day for a millenium. this proceeded to flood everything except the grand town of auburn which was saved by a tower of babel-like structure that all americans pitched in on, until some stupid arab sand monkeys tried blowing it up with civilian airliners. then grimmace's national guard training was useful. he developed an anti-civilian-airplane-defense-system (or the anti-andy system) by placing some WWII German 88's a thousand meters up, every 2 feet for a mile. above that was going to be a mile of sherman tank barrels. but since everyone knows they're useless, they got thrown into the ocean, making it rise higher. we finally decided to stick 1 million daisy and tiki act-alike dogs on top, to scare all terrorist causing events back to the whale bellies they came from.

when the pig was slaughtered, the moon was trasnported back to it's original place, and that's what really happened to noah's ark...

and now i can't remember where i was ever going with this. oh yes... General Grimmaces true happiness. well, like usual, his joy came from THE DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!. but he was finally truly happy when his headers were installed, which could be as soon as 3 days, with the help of BOB (nate b) and gerdey (jared). then he met the woman of his dreams and had 40 kids with her, because they both were 'life-changed' (i still say murdered by muskrats) about 8 times each. *

*General Grimmace comes back as a humanoidishly thing and realizes, i have only 394,000,000 more deaths until i make it to heaven!!!!!!!!!! but he is angry that he is the only one (besides judge ito) dying and decides to do somethinga bout it. Grimmace uses his national guard training to steal 4000 m-16a2's and 203 attacments along with ammo. so then he stealthily runs his new hummer (also stolen) and runs over sheldonett, pumping 100 rounds into his horrible body. he then finds sheldon and DEATH and fires 3 203 grenade rounds into each of their mouths... then wires them shut with duct tape and shoves pencils into their proboscus. he uses an incindiary 203 round to burn ATLAS 9 times, then moves on to judge ito, who is already dead. he runs over judge ito 9 times, then pumps 99999999 rounds into his eye sockets, and nostrils and mouth. general grimmace then burns him at the stake. he then finds vengeance for bjorg's lettuce donuts. he wires a thousand lettuce donuts with c-7 explosives and makes bjorg eat them all until they are all gone or eaten by random birds that fly by and eventually land on the shoulders of thanatos and Mnemesomne, dropping c-7/lettuce donut poop all over them. keenan then thinks, "i can't wait any longer" and clicks the trigger, causing them all to explode, they all explode 9 times. franklin roosevelt then decides to enter the conflict, with only a stick to stick in grimmace's ear. but unlike sheena, he is in a wheelchair, and none too stealthy. so grimmace sticks FDR, Sherriff, and destruction all in the same jail cell with ted kennedy, monica lewinsky, and the clintons. since killing them would be too much trouble, he lets them sit in a straight-cow cell, full of gay cows, who continually and habitually rape everyone inside. after 40 half-lives of this, grimmace grows weary, and decides to cut off their heads at the adam's apple. GAH and mrs. GAH step outside their cake to see what's going on and immediatly get blown to smithereens by remote cameras with mountaed m-60's and SAW's. ShemorgisBjorg sees all this and has a heart attack, like sheep when they get a little stress. Grimmace gets tired of killing, and decides to kill but one more character, great aunt hades. he strings her up with a million spiders' webs, and lets her hang by the neck until dead 14 times past 9 times... in affect, 23 times. yngvie is invited to move into Grimmace's castle and play beautiful music for grimmace and... grimmace's mistress, the beautiful kelsea, whome he did infact marry. the stuff from hell was burned in hell along with the souls of all the characters killed. jrr tolkien is named grimmace's speech writer. vic and MUP run around the town (grimmace's hometown of indian cave state park) randomly punching themselves in the back of the face. Anger sees them doing this, thinks it is cool, and follows them around the park trails and follows suit (spades). question mark man !!!! is timminated. no killing him, that's too nice. he was fired 45 times, terminated 34 times, then timminated and stuck inside of a nuclear missile that was about to hit iraq. *

okay.....well someone here at OTC just made me really angry, so i can't think to add more, but I will later.

[DEATH]

well......

with my rage having been properly asserted toward the idiot, I AM BACK. sorry for the interruption, but i was so angry i could not properly analyze the humor that exists here, let alone think.

here are some more favorites:

Sheldon -

*Meanwhile, THE SHERRIFF arrests Grouchipoop for excessive posting and throws him to THE LIONS, which are miraculously transformed by a strangely merciful Question Mark Man into THE LINENS, causing Grouchipoop to land safely. THE SHERRIFF then shoots Question Mark Man dead for obstruction of injustice. Sheldonette goes to geography class.*

Meanwhile, QUESTION MARK MAN is put on trial before the miraculously revived Judge Ito, on account of being a living being. QUESTION MARK MAN pleads innocent to all charges. GAH(s) is brought in to testify, but refuses to cooperate. THE SHERRIFF slaps him in the face as a motivational gesture. GAH(s) suddenly screams from the witness box "OH NO OH NO OH NO - AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!" shortly before Thanatos (again) erupts from its navel and consumes THE SHERRIFF after a violent and messy fashion. Bjorg and Dr. Editorrr break into the room and free Sheldonette. Realizing it is all up to him, Judge Ito orders that THE LIONS be unleashed. Thinking quickly, Sheldonette sacrifices FDR to THE oncoming LIONS, and separately tosses FDR's wheelchair at Judge Ito. Meanwhile, Thanatos drags a stomachless GAH(s) out the back, apologizing:*
"Sorry, dad."
"I'm not your dad."
"Sorry, mom."
"I'm not your mom."
"Sorry, legal guardian."
"That works."
*Judge Ito screams, "It's not legal! I did not approve it!" from behind the wheelchair. He is knocked out by one of FDR's flying limbs.*

Thomas -

*Thomas resurrects himself and uses a small shovel to bash DEATH's head in, resulting in the penetration of his brain and instant Deth(More permanent form of death, not to be confused with DEATH and harder to come back from...i'm retarded)*

*Destruction and ActsOfStupidity start slapping QUESTION MARK MAN in the face and hope that the demon children will come fight for them during the GREAT WAR *

Hudson -
GAH(s) turns up and decides that it shall send everyone to Hell, ironically, to cool off. However, this only makes things worse, when the ammunition stores start exploding due to excess amounts of heat. MUP(s) and GAH(s) get into a vehement argument over what exactly put that gross hole in GAH(s)' stomach lining and eventually realize that the reason that they can't find the cause for this affliction is that Thanatos' memory has been erased. Baffled at how they can realize this fact without in fact remembering Thanatos, they decide to take a break and braid Sheldonette's hair with serpents. DETH mistakes this for the Medusa, and turns, inexplicably, to stone. Since Bjorg was applying a choke hold to DETH, his propinquity insures that his left arm is turned to stone. DEATH immediately begins to use it to beat Bjorg's face with, and Question Mark man slaps the newly entered Colonel Shadow in the crotch with a salmon. A passing praying mantis on its way to vespers eats its mate (shockingly revealed to be Shemorgisbjorg) and utter pandemonium ensues, as Catward ominously wraps his front paws around the abdomen of Dr. Editorrr, only to be bitten in half by Vic, who is in turn masticated by THE LIONS. The demon children, who have not fought anyone, are logically punished and sent to their room for good behavior. When the raging inferno has reached its peak, GAH(s) and MUP(s) decide to mend their differences by throwing a lingerie party, and both give themselves a set of Victoria's Secret (R) Everlast (R) chastity belts. The bottom half of Catward (thrown off by the confusion, no doubt) mistakes the top half of Bjorg's biforcated body for its own, and assumes the name Bjorgward. He (they) then tawdles off to the Netherworld where the dead memories of Thanatos and Generally Grouchipoop sit in silent horror as Bjorgward creeps toward them saying, "Hello dearests!"*

LOL!!!!

those are AWESOME

i remind the usually non-participating members (Mike, Julie, Donkey) of the board that since everything in THE RPG THREAD was essentially just reset and started over, now would be an ideal time to "JUMP IN THE FIRE!", to join in the insanity. make sure to read the first post on the first page of the thread so that you understand the rules. you might want to read the whole thing, because there are a few amendments to the original rule sets, and also because the whole thing is pretty funny, and also so you become somewhat familiar with the characters.

i must leave now.

ADIOS!

[The Shadow]

"Hello dearests!"
LOL!!!
Those are great posts. I demand that Thomas post in the newly cleansed RPG Thread. It is GREAT.

[ActsOfStupidity]

I demand a shoe...that is all.

[The Shadow]

I will give you a shoe and lick it, as usual, in church if you just post in the RPG Thread.

[ActsOfStupidity]

I just wanted FDR back...

[The Shadow]

I decided it'd been too long since a truly retarded post.

[McGee]

[ActsOfStupidity]

[DEATH]

As a sidenote to my recent post about the Ostrogoths, who else LOVES the Capitol One commercials with the Norman warriors? LOL. Those are so awesome, I'd honestly like pay $10 for a collection of all of them that they've ran. The first one was probably the funniest, as it has some guy paying for a hotdog from a vendor on the streets of New York having trouble with his credit card. Suddenly, "The Boys are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzy is qued (a PERFECT sarcastic selection to represent the Normans) and the Normans storm down the streets, destroying taxi cabs and in general over running innocents on the sidewalk, only to be turned back once they reach the man by his Capitol One credit card (which somehow makes their invasion null & void). LOL. I dedicate a FELLOWSHIP burger to the creator and mind behind these HILARIOUS commercials.

[ActsOfStupidity]

I just like any commercial involving dancing monkeys...

[The Shadow]

Huzzah for Normans on TV in any way! I haven't seen those commercials (then again, I don't watch TV)...that is AWEXOME. lol

[ActsOfStupidity]

I was wonderin' if we still had the "Spirit Realm"