THE OFFICIAL ROLE PLAYING THREAD

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*And Donkey attempts to type in green*[/glow]

[DEATH]

*and Donkey inadvertantly starts the war attempting to type in green....*

*The first battle begins when troops begin to assemble about 10 miles apart from each other and dig trenches several miles wide. Barbed wire, machine guns, artillery, and a plethera of non-combat related items are positioned. Anger orders a row of Delta 88's manned by St. Anger fans over the top and to the opposing trench, while QUESTION MARK MAN orders Kirk Hammet to ready the Tour Bus launchers*

*PTB forces begin to react to the advancing PTSNB forces. Vic quickly grabs an ESP DV8 Mustaine Signature guitar and attempts to deafen and torture the oncoming PTSNB troops with 'Dave Mustaine sweep picking', broadcasted in front of the PTB trenches with a row of vintage Marshall 4x12 stacks*

[DEATH]

*DEATH and Sheldonette scramble to equip all of the PTB forces with gasmasks, fearing a chemical or biological attack, after learning that the PTSNB after cloning Bjorg, injected an airborne virus into the blob the renders the recipient of the virus constipated until explosion, along with adding mustard gas to the mix to be traditional*

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]Donkey, continuing to type in green, stands around looking confused.[/glow]

[Donkey]

[glow=blue,3,300]So Donkey's arch-nemesis, Sheep, decides to type in blue[/glow]

[The Shadow]

*The Shadow loads several pots o'gold into multiple cannons and fires them at the enemy, spilling the coins all over the tour buses and Delta 88's. Turning to the leprechauns, he says, "Go get it, laddies!" The leprechauns sally forth from the Dark Palace and begin to obliterate enemy forces in their quest for gold. The Chornicler stands off to one side, documenting the carnage. Dr. Editorrr equips his Bjorg-Blaster with a scope and zeroes in on MUP(s)'s head.*

[ActsOfStupidity]

*The NWO's army of "Childern" fortify their position at the highest point in Postville

*ActsOfStupidity and Destruction formally request the aid of Donkey and his ability to type in a strange green color

*The Childern arm themselves with Belgian Waffles and Froot-Loops

*Destruction puts on his marching-band helmet and begins to play his piccolo...

*ActsOfStupidity develops an air force of flamingos and flying evil piggies

*SIDE NOTE (NWO air force is second to NONE. This cannot be changed)

[GAH(s)]

*(Note, the GAH(s) array of Delta 88 anti-aircraft are second-to-none when it comes to destroying any aircraft, this cannot be changed)

GAH(s) and DEATH decide to resurrect epic metal and movie stars Dave Mustaine and Slash to handle the job of creating absolutely atrocious sound attacks, which cause Donkey's head to explode, sending him to Hell, where he plays with the Demon Children. Question Mark Man fling random aggressive questions into the meetings of NWO and PTSNB military strategists, throwing the enemies of the PTB into mass disarray. Michael Jackson appears and starts a romantic relationship with Acts of Stupidity and "Snedd the Head" prosecutes both of them with great success, sending them into the Abyss, where they are chained for a thousand years, or until they post bail by surrendering in the Thread War. HMeister and the Colonel decide that the time has come and order the assassination of all enemy heads of state, sending Templar Knights and Ninja Wombats into action.*

[The Shadow]

*The Chronicler and Dr. Editorrr attack: Dr. Editorrr deletes enemy attacks through his powers as editor, while Chronicler rewrites enemy actions and statements, being, as he is, the infallible documenter of threads, ACC trips, and Shady Updates.*
Dr. Editorrr's summary:
"Some pack animal masquerading as a human started this whole mess by typing in green. DEATH makes a series of brilliant deployment and defense decisions, staving off the tour bus horde quite effectively, while Vic uses a horrifying secret weapon to deafen enemy soldiers. The PTSNB make their own secret weapon and, oh, whoops..."
*BOOP*
The Chronicler's re-posting: "The PTSNB do indeed modify their liquid Bjorg clones with a nefarious Destructo-Constipato-Explodo solution, yet make the mistake of handing off the Bjorg-Blasters to the St. Anger fans, who, now deafened, mistake the order from Anger of "Into their midst!" as "Anger needs hits!" (somehow...) Accordingly, they turn on their leader and begin pumping him full of D-C-E-carrying Bjorg clones. Anger whimpers his way to an outhouse to squeeze through his final moments. Back to Dr. Editorrr."
*BOOP*
Dr. Editorrr's summary: "The pack animal and his arch-nemesis wander onto the field typing, but add little to the free-for-all. In an act of pure genius, The Shadow implements unorthodox methods of mass destruction to massacre the enemy armor divisions, while Chronicler looks on."
*Chronicler slips Dr. Editorrr a $20 bill.*
"That is, looks on HEROICALLY! The NWO, their alliances being unknown, request assistance from the pack animal and claim air superiori-"
*BOOP*
Chronicler's re-posting: "Destruction admits the inadequacy of his air force and travels into the WASTELANDS, little knowing that Catward's lower half still roameth there."
*BOOP*
Dr. Editorrr: "Dave Mustaine and Slash arrive to provide their...uh, services. Confusion arises during PTNSB strategy meetings. Michael Jack-"
*BOOP*
Chronicler: "Josh Compton."
*BOOP*
Dr. Editorrr: "-arrives to answer Destruction's long-standing offers of romance, whereupon Snedd the Head-"
*Poster's note: LOL!!!*

"-lays the smackdown of Californian law down on them both, capturing them and obliging them to surrender their weapons and armies to the Powers That Be."
*Sheldonette is cornered and hacked to pieces by the Templars, while The Shadow barricades himself in a room against the efforts of the Ninja Wombats, who had refused to attack Sheldonette, on account of his past life as a wombat. Bjorg oozes out of the Bjorg-Blaster and begins a discussion with the Knights.*
Bjorg: "You realize that your leaders are being held hostage, right?"
Fra' Reynaud d'Chatillon: "They are?"
Bjorg: "And the Templar Creed states that the Knights cannot serve hostages until they have been ransomed, right?"
Reynaud: "Poop!"
Bjorg: "No thanks, I've eaten. Now go and atone for your sins!"
*The Templars apologize for killing Sheldonette, and begin a fierce melee with the Ninja Wombats.*

[ActsOfStupidity]

ok sheldon, that was gay...no controling other factions

[DEATH]

!*!Thread etiquette sidenote!*!

I agree with Thomas' statement. It's ideal to simply control your own characters, and this goes for everyone, not just sheldon. most of the fun in these types of threads is to see the other person try to dodge or one-up your attack or action or whatever. there's no fun in deciding that someone else's characters are rendered useless for whatever reason, or that your own characters (or their Air Force ) are invunerable. to simplify, attack someone and let them defend for themselves, rather than choosing their fate for them. however, defenders shouldn't claim ridiculous escapes, (ex. i thrust a javelin through your eye socket, and then you claim that I instead missed your eye socket and thrust it into my own crotch....if i kill you, you die. however, i can't kill you, then say that your soul must forfiet the battle before i allow it to resurrect).
now i realize that statement covers mainly human characters, so some, such as GAH(s) and MUP(s) are excluded. but i think you get the idea. most of us have characters on both sides, so the war can't be endless one-up-ing of each other, just let one alter-ego lose. that LONG post being made, take that into consideration my fellow RPGers, and let the war claim as many lives as possible!!

I AM FIRED

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*Donkey, still typing in green, ponders his fate. What exactly happened to him? Where is he now? And what is that smell coming from his refrigerator?*[/glow]

[The Shadow]

*Dr. Editorrr and Chronicler are taken hostage and forced to stand trial for their war crimes. Colonel Shadow appoints Judge Ito, aka Neville, to preside.*
Dr. Editorrr: "I sorry."

[ActsOfStupidity]

*Dr. Editorr gets slapped on the wrist by Destruction...

*NWO Air Force randomly kills Judge Ito by dropping bags loaded with golf balls and Hunney Nut Cheerios (Spelling changed to not infringe on the copyright)

*I'm too lazy to type anything else

[x]

General Grimmace decides to resurrect himself and decides to start his own faction. it's called the new kkk. dubbed so because of it's name, keenan's kindness klan, it is somewhat like the old kkk, but not as stupid. we combat the culture of crudeness @ ncc (or anything else taht the president (me) decides to combat). memberships can be purchased for the price of 10000 "C'MON CLETUS"'s being propelled at any liberal that is in the congress. the new kkk, or just kkk to keep it short thus far has General Grimmace in it. donkey should join, because as of yet, he is still confused, and he'd be taken care of... well he'd be given food. kkk has the best anti-anti aircraft weapons, this cannot be changed by anyone but me, because i would have to cede the award to someone else, and i won't as long as i'm alive... ? that means sheldon, don't log in as me and say that, because that would be gay or keenanish... whichever fits the subject at hand. kkk also has the best 1970 buick lesabre tanks. also unchangeable. i guess that is it. long live General Grimmace