THE OFFICIAL ROLE PLAYING THREAD

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*Donkey, unbeknownst to all others, has put a secret plan in motion. If a few more days go by with no Role-Playing related posts...Donkey will win the war he started...and all others will be terminated! *[/glow]

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*Donkey, still seemingly dead, has put a plague on every character on the RPT. The only antidote is to POST TO THIS THREAD BEFORE ELEVEN ON THIS FRIDAY! Otherwise...instant death will ensue.*[/glow]

...[glow=green,2,300]not DEATH, just death.[/glow]

[ActsOfStupidity]

*Destruction kicks Donkey in the nuts, strikes the rule he created from teh record, and warns Donkey that if he ever does anything like that again, he's gonna put his foot in his other Donkey

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*Donkey falls over, his plans for Global Domination now foiled by Destruction. As he sits back and ponders the meaning of life, he realizes that, maybe he can't kill everyone with a couple posts, so he begins to devise a new method.

Oh yeah...and his nuts really hurt. Thanks Destruction *[/glow]

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*Donkey installs a new character, GlobalDomination to do the dominating of the globe for him. GlobalDomination plants a bomb on the underside of a schoolbus.*[/glow]

[ActsOfStupidity]

*Destruction slaps GlobalDomination for threatening to kill an innocent schoolbus*

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*GlobalDomination sets himself and Destruction on fire and runs toward a gas station*[/glow]

[The Shadow]

*The gas pump uproots itself from the pavement and takes off into THE WOODS, shouting, "MY CONTENTS ARE FAR TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOU TO BURN, FAG!"*
*Bjorg, who had hereto been using the super unleaded hose as a showerhead, bounces along behind perplexedly.*

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*GlobalDomination runs after Bjorg!*[/glow]

[DEATH]

*DEATH comes out of a 3 month post coma and decides to call off the 3 on 3 tourny as it turned out to be a real thread killer. All current habitants of the fictitous Peru (on a VERY REAL message board) are summoned to the tank in Legion Park in Auburn to discuss how the one catalystic force uniting all in the RPG world can be made: WAR!*

*Dave and Slash begin accepting propositions on starting "TWII: The War to End All Wars.....again....."*

*Suddenly, in the conference confusion, the infamous AXLE ROSE appears with large vat of dog snot and hurls onto Donkey, thus beginning the melee!*

Axle: "YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE DONKEY! YOU'RE GONNA DIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!"

[The Shadow]

*Dr. Editorrr, Official Shady Entourage Delegate to the war conference, is enraged and hurls his clipboard at Rose, then runs out of the room to inform Sheldonette, Bjorg, Agent Gagreel, Shemorgisbjorg, and the newly resurrected Tinkerbell and Chronicler, that Axel is, in fact, behind this.*

[DEATH]

*Axel, sensing immense enmity between himself and all others in the room, desperately uses his unusual magic powers and turns Hetfield and Mustaine into Huey Lewis & the News, who are angrily forced to leave after they begin to perform their 1985 hit "The Power of Love", which the assembly agrees is most inappropriate. The distraction works, and Axel escapes.*

BUT SOON....

*The assembly begins to argue over how to deal with Axel until Slash offers the ultimate solution:*

"TUBULAR! Let's just form two opposing camps on opposite physical ends of our nonexistant universe and SLAUGHTER EACH OTHER, HOPING TO KILL AXEL IN THE BLOODBATH! With any luck, Axel would be located in the EPICENTER OF......EVERYTHING!"

*The assembly breaks into wild approval amoung Slash's claims of everything having "gone liquid now, man". The task of picking team captains is given to the DOINKness himself.*

[x]

while everyone above ground is suddenly distracted with the idea of killing each other (mainly axle rose) the Grimmacean army of white rappers (not wrappers, they're just trash... lol) and other various music artists like Benjiman(a christian, mexican rapper) he digs a tunnel system that makes the North Korean and Al Qeada tunnels look like ant farms. under each known location of the other combatants, he plants nuclear bombs, then runs down his stairs to the middle of the earth and detonates them, vaporizing especially bjorg, who was following an up-rooted gas station and GlobalDomination and Destruction, who were already well on their way to DEATH and death, already being on fire.

Once the nuclear winter passes, Grimmace kills everyone underground, except for a few females whom he is now re-populating the earth with... one of them being "not bjorg"

[The Shadow]

Teleporting into the nuclear wasteland is none other than the demented, feared warlord The Clap, who decides to take time off from his KingsofChaos rapes to lead his mixed army of Orcs and Mongols to domination of the thread. Of the two races under his command, the Orcs (toting their trusty Blackpowder Missiles on their shoulders and shouting inspiring warcries like "KLONDIKE GOOD FOR BELLY BETTER FOR TORPEDO DRESSING ON WHEAT!!!" and "GOBI DESERT SMASH CUP!!!") prove to be infinitely more useful as warriors, as the Mongols seem inexplicably obsessed with jumping on dead bodies as they point at their eyes and squeak "We look weird!", while The Clap himself falls behind the army, as his trusty rhinoceros steed is distracted by the mouths of one of Grimmace's tunnels, and proceeds to take a dump in it, interrupting one of Grimmace's energetic romps with his favorite concubine [note the lack of specification concerning said concubine's gender...everyone's happy this way].

[x]

after sleeping with teh concubine, Grimmace decides to kill HER. he blames it on the poop gods, and she didn't leave enough sacrifices for them. the porcelain goddess complained to the zues-poooooooooop god of fecal matter of rhino's, which proceeded to cause the rhino to poop on their jamboree in the hole.

mean while on the other side of the farm, 1000 chickens suddenly died of the malaria in shady's rhino's fecal matter which spread like the virus in blade trinity, killing all birds of the same feather at once.

Grimmace then decides the only way to end the war for his posse, is to commit suicide, thus defeating the real plans of all opponents.

so he does it, and if noone posts a retraction of the suicide in the next 72 hours (by thursday, 1:36 pm), then Grimmace remains dead, and his posse wins the thread war. *OUT*