THE OFFICIAL ROLE PLAYING THREAD

[DEATH]

*Upon Grimmace's arrival in the afterlife he is greeted and slapped in the face by none other than Dave Mustaine, who explains:*

"FIRST, some idiot turns me into Huey Lewis and I get kicked out of the convention, THEN I get nuked to death in Huey Lewis's body, AND AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, you plaguerize the song concept behind Last Rites/Loved To Death by killing your girlfriend!"

*Kicks Grimmace in the ch|ldr3n m4k3r*

"DIANA!!!"

*Walks off*

[x]

Grimmace cries and wonders where he is... 'how'd i end up in the same place as that loser' then God realizes Grimmace looks a lot like Grimace, which is the McDonald's guy. so the swap is done, and Grimmace ends up in heaven, praising God all the day long... the end of my involvement.

[DEATH]

*God reminds Grimmace that even Dave Mustaine is a born again Christian, thus no swap was neccessary*

[x]

Grimmace wakes up from his huge revelation to realize that he'd been in heaven the entire time, and he worshipped for eternity, praying for the souls of everyone still on earth










(yes, it's a lil sacreligious :S)

[The Shadow]

The Clap undergoes a life-changing Morrowind conversion, and signs over command of the Mongols and Orcs to Sheldonette, whom he continually refers to as "General Darius." He becomes a trusted servant and lieutenant of Sheldonette, and is instrumental in hunting down and eliminating the members of Grimmace's harem, causing Sheldonette and his fellow officers to affectionately refer to him as "our good and faithful The Clap" and vote him MVD, or Magnificent Venereal Disease.

[The Shadow]

*At these further words from heaven, Sheldonette goes blind and pledges to spread the gospel, while noting that harems may contain either gender, thus making everyone happy...look at Emperor Elligabius.*

[Donkey]

[glow=green,2,300]*GlobalDomination, still alive, looks around the forest. Spying the fallen bodies of his enemies, he gets a glow in his eyes...has he won?*[/glow]

[DEATH]

*The query of GlobalDomination is not a long one, as his new archnemises, GlobalLamenation, lamenates him into suffocation. GL then begins work on trying to lamenate the ground in the blast radius area, trying to envelop the nuclear contamination. *

*DEATH resurrects himself and enters new characters of THE PROGRAM and Zuel, along with resurrecting Kirk Hammett for his insight into vomit-inducing music. The quartet then forms a new metal band, THE FOUR HORSEMEN (of the post-apocalyptic wasteland), and as according to the Metallica song, acquires leather steeds which they interpret to be new Harley Davidsons. DEATH takes vocals duty and shares lead guitaring with Hammett. THE PROGRAM dons a clown outfit and takes drums, while Zuel assumes bass duties, offering the same background vocals for every song:

"THERE IS NO (SONG TITLE), ONLY ZUEL!"

They begin looking for survivors to the nukefest.*

[DEATH]

*They come across GlobalLamenation, and despite his best lamenation efforts, manage bludgeon him to death in a crazed frenzy. They go to the Gibbs old 3rd street residence for rest.*

*Unfortunately, much like the game "The Sims", the poor Horsemen's comfort levels drop to empty due to the unfavorable conditions of thermonuclear winter, causing them to turn and all look up at one corner of the house, waving their arms and screaming jibberish, as thought bubbles filled with red pictures of couches and beds suddenly appear outside of them . At THE PROGRAM's suggestion, they conclude that they have displeased the Couch god, the god of comfort. In repentance, they tear the various corpses clothes and begin to sacrifice couches as offerings to the couch god. Without much effort, they manage to sacrifice all couches within Nemaha county, and head to Nebraska Furniture Mart to begin the slaughter of innocent couches to appease the couch god. The merciless butchering of helpless furniture is relentless!*

[The Shadow]

*Sheldonette and his consitituents declare themselves the Brand Spankin' New Democracy of Teh Grease Spot, and establish their headquarters at Teh Grease Spot, a crater left at the site of hapless Gallup interviewer Sheldon Shires' residence in Lincoln, Nebraska. Sheldonette and his cabinet decide to send their best general, The Clap, to Nebraska Furniture Mart to spread the message of the New Testament, stop the couch slaughter, and bring back some GOLD. The Clap, accordingly, dons Spanish armor and leads his army of Orcs and Mongols to the Nebraska Furniture Mart.*

[DEATH]

*Upon The Clap's arrival, the cloth-stained (somehow?) and weary FOUR HORSEMEN stop to listen to the gospel according to The Clap. After absorbing it, they realize their own foolishness and pray to the GODS OF METAL for direction (remember who's gospel we're talking about). It is then revealed to them that because of everyone's death, they, along with Sheldonette's men, are the only surviving RPGers. In an act of thread simplification, the GODS OF METAL use vaporization to put to death all current living characters except for DEATH and Sheldonette, along with cleaning and un-contaminating Southeast Nebraska in order to spite Grimmace for his RPG absence.*

*Sheldonette and DEATH resurrect Acts of Stupidity, Donkey and invite GAH(s) and any future character of Mike Andrews to newly cleansed thread. Because of the boredom of southeast Nebraska, an automotive combat contest is arranged. Each character is instructed to choose a vehicle. DEATH chooses the successor to THE GREATEST, the venerable CUTLASS for his combat vehicle, and chooses for it's main weapon a Vomit Cannon, which shoots huge qunataties of vomit onto opposing cars in an attempt to drown the drivers. It is a sloppy weapon indeed.*

[The Shadow]

*Sheldonette chooses the old Dodge van that has spent years rusting at the former site of the Shires' house, by Highway 136. Unfortunately, the engine is completely shot. Sheldonette accordingly presses the heftiest of the RPG Thread War prisoners (who somehow survived the blast) into service, requiring them to row the Dodge to victory in the upcoming contest. When the POWs point out the difficulty of rowing an old van on solid ground, he blames their insubordination on a lack of proper musical motivation, and installs a large sound system on the van. This blasts out Megadeth classics like "The Disintegrators," "Reckoning Day," "502," and so on, and the crew is soon moving the Dodge at the appropriate speed. Sheldonette names his vehicle TEH FLAGSHIP and installs a large battering ram on the hood, in the shape of a fist.*

[DEATH]

[shadow=red,left,300][glow=red,2,300] NOTE [/glow][/shadow]

As specified in the RPG sideline thread, this thread will exist for 3 more days, at which time it will be locked. You have this time to migrate your characters to the new threads.

[ActsOfStupidity]

mycharactersaremigrated

[The Shadow]

yourwordsarenotproperlyspaced